


wishing we could still be

by inkwelled



Series: pieces [3]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Relationships, Breaking Up & Making Up, CatradoraWeek2018, Chinese Food, Drunken Shenanigans, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-03 22:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17292866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkwelled/pseuds/inkwelled
Summary: "We can't keep doing this, Catra-""Please."or— catra and adora have both moved on from their relationship, or have they? day three; season





	wishing we could still be

**Author's Note:**

> me, walking into ao3 two days late with dunkin because i've never been to starbucks and i'm a broke high schooler: and what about it?
> 
> no but really this is late and i'm sorry. i got h*cka sick and wasn't able to get to the doctor and my homework has been piling up. so i'm gonna work on day four and try to crank out both day five and six tomorrow to catch up.
> 
> kinda a stretch, but my trail of thought was "the season of us is over" for the prompt. sue me i'm sad.
> 
> title ; [eighteen](https://genius.com/Exes-18-lyrics) by exes

“Hey, Adora.”

Having nothing to do with the late fall night, she freezes. “Catherine?”

“Can I come in?”

She clutches the door frame and distantly recognizes that's the only thing keeping her upright at the moment. Though she'll never admit to it, Adora's knees buckle because it's been too long and not long enough.

Five months, by her count.

“You can’t keep doing this,” she says, but moves aside. Catra’s shivering in nothing but a light windbreaker and it doesn’t escape Adora’s notice how blue her lips are.

“Adora, I-“

“Catra,” Adora sighs, shutting the door against a cold gust, “You can’t keep doing this. It’s not good for either of us. You’ve gotta tell E-“

“Does Glimmer know?”

Adora bites down on her tongue. “No,” she says quietly after a moment and Catra smiles shakily. It’s how Adora’s chest feels.

“It’ll be our secret, then. Nothing’ll happen, neither one needs to know. Please, Adora. I miss you and need a place to stay for the night.”

“One night,” she says firmly although her stomach sinks. It’s never just one night.

Catra nods. "One night.”

A moment of silence and then,

“You hungry?" Adora says softly. Her hand is curled around the door out of sight, and she hopes Catra doesn't notice how her fingernails are digging into the wood. "I've got leftover Chinese in the fridge.”

Catra smiles hesitatingly despite her trembling. “Yeah, I could go for some egg rolls right about now.”

Good,” Adora says firmly and Catra follows her into the kitchen.

“Nice place you got.”

Opening the fridge, Adora hums. “Yeah, neither of us was certain we would want an apartment so we just moved in with Bow. Despite how small it looks from the outside, there’s a lot of bedrooms upstairs.”

Adora gestures with the fork in her hand as she starts making up plates. “Lo mein, right?”

Perched on a barstool, Catra nods. Adora notices the shivering is subsiding, her fingers no longer quivering.

“Yeah,” Catra says quietly, then realizes. “You remember.”

Adora looks up from scooping the cold noodles onto the plate. Around her mouth softens in a way Catra hates because it makes her stomach do flops. “Of course I remember,” she says almost defensively, “Why wouldn’t I?”

Catra scrapes a nail across the countertop. Her laugh is just as cold a sound. “Because last time I saw you, you seemed content to forget I even existed.”

She blinks. “We were together for three years,” Adora whispers so low she can barely hear the words. “I can’t forget, even if I wanted to.”

Snorting, Catra hunches her shoulders and stuffs her fists deep into her pockets. “Could’ve fooled me,” she mutters

Adora sighs. “Catherine-“

Catra physically recoils. “Don't,” she hisses, pushing back from the island until she’s standing. “You don’t get to call me that.”

"Okay. I'm sorry."

Catra stops. "Stay," Adora whispers, and pushes down the urge to reach out to her, not matter how much she wants to. Her palm feels cold, lonely. "Please. I'm sorry."

She slides back onto the barstool hesitantly.

"Alright," she says equally as softly as if talking this quietly will prevent her from leaving. Again.

She should be at home. Endellion is away for the weekend at a conference and Catra knows she couldn't have taken the silent apartment anymore. She doesn't ask where Glimmer is.

Maybe she doesn't care. Maybe she cares too much.

The microwave beeps, startling her out of her reverie. Her and Adora move for it at the same time and Catra's hand falls past the handle, brushing Adora's.

"Oh."

"Here," Adora says quietly. "I'm gonna go get a room set up, okay?"

Catra swallows the bitter taste in the back of her throat. She swallows a forkful of burning hot noodles and ignores the screaming of her tongue. "Fine," she mutters back and lowers her eyes to the countertop.

Their apartment didn't have marble counters, sleek black appliances, a full kitchen. Catra wonders how much they're used with Adora's love of cooking. She shoves another bunch of noodles down her throat to cover the urge to throw up.

She always wanted to give Adora so much more.

Catra remembers how Adora made the trip from Bright Moon University to Horde Community College. She remembers crossing that stage, breaths shaky, how Adora stood and whooped for her when everyone else was silent.

She remembers crying into the sleeve of her graduation gown that smelled like body odor and mothballs. She remembers how Adora crashed into her in the dark hallway corner afterward, whispered praises into her neck between nips and kisses.

Catra closes her eyes. Her stomach rolling, she pushes away the plate. She's not hungry anymore.

She should leave.

She doesn't belong here.

She doesn't fit here, on the blatantly Ikea-bought barstool in the kitchen of a well-kept and probably expensive townhouse. She no longer fits in Adora's life, both physically and emotionally.

Catra stands to leave. She's silent when she moves through the rooms.

"Please don't."

She stops with her hand on the handle. "I shouldn't have come," she says, refusing to look back. Adora's eyes burn into her back. "It's not good for either of us like you said. We've both moved on."

"Have we?"

Catra won't admit how her heart stops dead in her chest. Every bone in her body feels weak, something she hasn't felt in months.

Something she hasn't felt since Adora.

She stays the night.

"I hope there are enough blankets," Adora says quietly, moving aside. Catra steps into the room and doesn't say a thing. She doesn't think she could even if she wanted to.

"Thanks."

Despite not looking at her, Catra knows Adora's eyes don't leave her face. "Of course," Adora murmurs, "you know you always have a place if you need it."

Catra sits on the edge of the bed with a bitter laugh. She smooths a hand over the comforter, refuses to look up. This has turned into a game of her avoiding Adora's gaze, a game she knows all too well. "Is that so?"

Breath leaving her all at once, Adora gripes the door frame in her hand. She ignores the wood digging into her palm, nothing compared to the ache in her chest. "Catra, I told you. We were friends before-"

"I'm actually kinda tired," Catra says loudly, too loudly. She winces at the sound of her own voice. It sounds weak, even to her.

Adora doesn't comment. "I'll leave you to get settled in then," Adora whispers, "I'm across the hall, okay? Don't hesitate to ask for anything."

"Fine."

She lingers. "Do you- do you need water? You still hungry? I could-"

Catra cuts her off with a poorly-concealed growl. "I'm [fine], Adora. Can you just leave me alone? Please."

"Okay," she nods. "I'll be downstairs cleaning up if you need anything. You're not alone in this, Catra."

The door clicks close as Catra collapses back onto the comforter. For a split second, she wants to rake her nails through this soft cloth, the perfect life Adora has built without her.

Why should she get to move on when Catra can't?

She's always been more emotional than Adora. Yes, her former best friend and lover was more public with whatever she was feeling, it wasn't a secret. But Catra's always held her emotions close to her chest but that never stopped how forcefully she felt.

She never lost that, despite everything Weaver put her through.

Catra buries her head in the pillow and wills herself not to cry.

It doesn't work.

 

 

It's 2:15 AM when her phone rings.

She shouldn't even be awake.

Catra picks it up anyways and confusion hits her like a truck. She deleted Adora's number months ago, but despite that, she can't seem to forget those ten digits.

The ten digits that now flash across her phone screen.

She's camped out on the couch, wrapped in so many blankets she can barely find her arm. It's raining, the windows are crying, and she picks up the phone.

"Catra!"

She winces, pulling the phone away from her ear for a moment. "Adora? Why are you yelling?"

"Loud," Adora slurs and Catra's heart sinks when she hears the roaring in the background, the yelling.

"Adora, please tell me you aren't out drinking."

She hiccups on the other end. "Nope," she hums and Catra buries the urge to slam her head on the edge of the coffee table.

"Hey - hey Adora? Stay on the line, I'm gonna come get you. Hang tight."

"Me," Adora agrees sleepily, and Catra swears under her breath. She throws off the blankets, slips her arms into the sweatshirt laying on the floor. "C-Catra?"

"Yeah?" She pauses in rooting around for her other boot.

"Miss 'ya," Adora slurs and something crashes in the background. Catra searches harder and finds the other part of the pair under the kitchen counter.

"Shut up and turn on your location," Catra grinds out.

She refuses to acknowledge what Adora's saying. She's always been an emotional, sloppy drunk. Catra isn't surprised. Her phone pings.

The bar Adora's at isn't far. Catra bundles herself into the car, turns on the heat. Windshield wipers squeaking, she leans forward and squints through the torrents coming down.

The thing in her chest roars when she sees the figure slumped against the side of the bar, hunched over, throwing up.

Catra sighs.

She could drive away.

It's been more than half a year, she doesn't have to stay. Adora has Glimmer, Catra _had_ Endellion, she doesn't need to pick Adora up.

She hits the steering wheel and gets out of the car.

Almost instantly, she's soaked. Catra grumbles as she stuffs her hands low in her pockets and runs across the street. "Adora! Hey, Adora!"

Too busy vomiting, Adora doesn't hear her.

"Adora!"

Catra sets a hand on her shoulder, automatically reaching forward to tuck her hair back. She's soaked to the bone, shivering, lips blue as she straightens and squints at her. "Catra!" she slurs, wavering. "'o came!"

"Yeah, I came," Catra grumbles, slinging her arm under Adora's shoulders. "You done? You better not throw up in my car or I'm throwing you out."

"'M done."

Catra grimaces as the smell hits her. "Let's go then. You can walk, right?"

She rolls her eyes when Adora grunts something.

"Alright, alright. Shut up and walk."

By the time she's deposited Adora in the passenger seat, her whole body is shaking violently. In the trunk, Catra finds a blanket that smells musty but it's dry. She throws it over Adora's shoulders.

"Miss you," Adora murmurs and Catra looks over at her. Adora is staring at the spot next to her ear, obviously zoned out. She knows Adora won't remember any of this in the morning.

Maybe that's why she cups her cheek for a moment.

Only a moment. It's all she can take.

But for that moment, everything is okay. Adora's eyes brighten, she leans into the touch, and Catra feels that [warmth] bubbling up in her chest. They're on their way home from the midnight movie under the stars, cuddled beneath a blanket in the trunk of her car, propped open.

Thunder cracks and Catra jolts.

The memory melts away and she snatches her hand away like she's been burnt. Adora blinks, pouts, but the expression quickly melts away as her eyes droop. "Tired," she slurs and Catra doesn't look at her as she peels away from the curb.

"Then sleep. Want me to take you back to the townhouse?"

Adora burrows into the chair. "No home," she says quietly and Catra almost slams on the break.

"What?"

"Not home," Adora repeats and stares out the window. Catra doesn't comment on how her shaking fingertips still drip rain.

"Did you," she hesitates, hands flexing and opening on the wheel, "are you two still together?"

"Mmmno."

"Oh."

"You?"

Catra doesn't look at Adora. "No," she says softly. "Endellion and I split two weeks ago. She let me keep the apartment though - small mercies I guess. She moved in with Penelope and last I heard there was rumors of them being together. She deserves Penelope, she'll treat her like....like she deserves."

"I'd des'rve you right," Adora says, lolling her head to the side. Catra laughs, flicking on her right turn signal. Her apartment building looms in the distance.

"Thanks. Let's get you inside."

Adora stumbles up four flights of concrete stairs and Catra silently curses. The elevator has been broken the entire time she's been here and as Adora's foot catches on the lip of the last stair before her floor, she reminds to send an anonymous email to the landlord.

 

 

Adora wakes with the worst headache of her life.

She's surrounded with warmth and there's a mass of brown taking up her vision. Swiping at it weakly, it's only after her fingers brush it that she realizes it's hair.

Groaning, Adora pries open her eyes.

What happened last night?

There's a sour film on her tongue and in the back of her throat. She swipes her tongue over her teeth, grimaces, and her hands bumps into another.

Adora freezes.

She would recognize that hand anywhere.

Adorned with rings, crooked fingers, bitten-down nails, callouses.

Catra.

She relaxes. She doesn't know what happened last night.

Adora finds she doesn't care.

She snuggles back into Catra's side, pillows her head in her shoulder. Whatever happened, she's here.

Where she belongs.

Catra smiles softly as she pulls Adora closer to her. They're here and this might be their second chance.

Both of them make silent promises not to let it slip away again.


End file.
